Navigating difficult conversations with underperforming employees requires a thoughtful approach that blends communication strategies with insights from behavioural sciences.

By understanding how mindset, emotional intelligence, and feedback loops affect behaviour, leaders can lead these conversations more effectively.

Our team of expert coaches have compiled 6 powerful strategies to help you approach tough conversations with confidence to achieve positive outcomes:

We need to approach these conversations from a place of emotional ‘neutrality’. Emotional regulation can significantly impact the outcome of challenging discussions. Techniques like deep breathing or a quick mindfulness exercise before the meeting can calm your nervous system, allowing you to communicate more effectively and with greater clarity.

When we are emotional, our ability to process information rationally diminishes due to the ‘fight-or-flight’ response. This reaction can lead to defensive or impulsive statements, so leaders should aim to create a calm internal environment before addressing any performance concerns. This shift not only helps with personal delivery but also sets a more open tone for the discussion.

Understanding the employee’s perspective isn’t just about empathy—it’s grounded in the psychology of perception. Everyone interprets situations differently based on their unique experiences and mindset. Leaders can use cognitive empathy to better grasp how their employees may be viewing a performance issue.

Studies in behavioural economics, like Daniel Kahneman’s work on cognitive biases, highlight that people often act based on perceived realities (seeing it through their own filter) rather than objective facts. When approaching these conversations, asking open-ended questions such as, "What challenges are you facing?" allows leaders to uncover deeper issues like miscommunication, workload stress, or personal concerns that might be contributing to underperformance. This strategy also develops psychological safety, encouraging honest dialogue rather than defensive behaviour.

Preparation reduces the cognitive load during the conversation, ensuring leaders can manage both the discussion and any emotional complexities that may arise. By structuring your points in advance, you can maintain focus on the specific behaviours and outcomes that need to be addressed, avoiding generalisations or personal critiques.

From a behavioural science perspective, people are more likely to change when they have clear, actionable feedback. Therefore, it’s crucial to outline not only the issues but also specific expectations moving forward. Using techniques like the behavioural feedback approach, your preparation should include concrete examples of underperformance, clear expectations for improvement, and a plan for support. This aligns with the principle of “nudging” from behavioural economics, where small adjustments can influence decision-making. Employees are more likely to engage with and act on specific, targeted feedback rather than broad generalisations.

Procrastinating on difficult conversations only amplifies problems. Behavioural science research shows that avoidance can create a feedback loop of negative reinforcement, where both the leader and the employee become stuck in patterns that avoid addressing the core issue. From a mindset perspective, delaying discussions allows underperformance to fester and may cause resentment to build.

Prompt conversations about underperformance reinforce accountability. It also creates a growth mindset culture where employees view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than personal attacks. This is especially important in corporate settings, where failure to address issues early on can lead to a ripple effect across teams, impacting overall morale and productivity.

Emotional intelligence (EI) plays a central role in difficult conversations. Leaders who demonstrate high EI—understanding, managing, and leveraging emotions—are better equipped to handle these conversations constructively. Active listening is one of the most powerful tools in a leader’s arsenal. This means not only hearing what is said but also observing non-verbal cues and reflecting back to the employee what they are expressing. (Watch our YouTube video below) on ‘active listening’ for more information,

This form of empathetic listening creates a two-way dialogue, allowing the employee to feel heard and understood, which can mitigate defensiveness and increase their willingness to engage in problem-solving. Leaders should also allow moments of silence; people tend to fill these pauses with deeper reflections, giving the employee space to articulate their thoughts.

Finally, following up is critical to reinforcing any changes in behaviour. This step closes the feedback loop— a key concept in behavioural science. Immediate constructive feedback paired with positive reinforcement when the employee shows improvement creates a virtuous cycle that promotes long-term behaviour change.

During the follow-up, assess progress not just against performance metrics but also in terms of the employee’s overall engagement and mindset. Are they taking ownership of their development? Are they showing a greater willingness to improve? This evaluation will help you fine-tune your leadership approach and adapt it to their growth journey.

To create lasting change, it’s important to approach challenging conversations with the right tools and mindset. By blending emotional intelligence, behavioural science insights, and structured feedback, you can turn these moments into opportunities for growth and accountability.

If you’re ready to enhance your leadership skills and communication skills and create a culture of continuous improvement, reach out to us for a consultation.

Let’s help you transform your team for Higher Performance.